From a young age, I've always wanted to become successful. I wanted nice clothes, luxurious homes, sports cars and financial freedom.
As I've grown up I've learned that success is much more than material things. In order to reach our goals we have to start with the inside rather than the outside. Material things are great to have however, they just don't appear on your front steps.
I want to share with you all 5 success traits all men should live by:
1. Control your ego
The common misconception of being a gentleman is that you need to know everything and can never be wrong. Which is totally inaccurate! Admitting you're wrong is the start of controlling your ego, especially when it’s not easy and in front of our family, friends and colleagues. The scariest situation you can be in is when you think you know it all. When you think you know it all you're closed off to learning new things. You don’t know what you don’t know. And trust me, there’s a lot that we don’t know. My recommendation is to be in submission with other successful men who have the expertise in specific areas you admire. Some areas of success can be in relationships, values, finances, fitness, and business/career. I feel that women can find it attractive when you're seeking help in areas you want to excel in because they see you growing into your full potential. Now to be clear, everybody has an ego. But as a man especially, you need to be able to control your ego, not your ego controlling you.
Find joy within yourself because it’s needed to succeed. A gentleman should learn how to be emotionally stable not only for himself however, for his family. Happiness will never be sustained 24/7. I feel most people, younger ones in particular feel they need to be happy 24/7. Unfortunately, that's impossible. Stop chasing the impossible. Life will throw you curve balls especially when you don’t see them coming nor are prepared for them. A gentleman must learn how to control his emotional state so you can have better control of the situation rather than the situation controlling you. It's okay to feel upset, angry and frightened. It's normal and part of human nature however, it's important to not let those feelings self-destruct. So what do you do? You start focusing on the positive, not just the negative. Start focusing on what you can control, rather than what you can't. Life will not always go our way. Did you know that there's a feeling you can feel 24/7. Can you guess what it is? It's joy. You can be joyful 24/7. The successful men I know in my life, hardly ever complain(even when life slapped them in the face!) Why do you think that is? It's because they choose to find things in life that they are appreciative for. They override the complaints with appreciation which then leads to joy. I understand that so many of us want more out of life however, don't forget to be appreciative for what you do have. If you simply want more in life, then don’t be miserable and sob all day instead, find out what others are doing and get to work(with a good attitude!)
Take full responsibility and understand where you are in life. As a gentleman some of your top responsibilities should be your finances and health. Lay off the alcohol a bit, cut down on the smoking and stop anything that may have negative consequences for your health down the road. How is your financial situation? Do you have money in your savings account? How much do you want to make in 5 years from now and how? How much debt do you have and do you have a plan to pay it off? I encourage you all to stop putting the blame on others for your current situation and start looking in the mirror. The person you see in the mirror is the one who can make a difference. Take responsibility for where you are at in life. Once you take responsibility, you then realize you have control and can change your circumstances.
To be quite frank, I dislike the word motivation. I just think it sounds so fake. What you really need is drive. Motivation is only temporary. Drive can go on forever. For instance, what drives me is my family. I'm always thinking of how I want to care for them in the future. I don’t bust my tail just for me, but for others. You need to have leverage and a cause that's bigger than yourself. I recommend tracking your progress so you don't get easily discouraged and you will appreciate the journey. Take your eyes off yourself, get excited about your goals and do what it takes, no matter what!
If you’re someone who finds it hard to trust others, you may not be trustworthy yourself. It may also be a sign that someone hurt you in the past or you do not know how to make accurate decisions. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Make sure YOU are accountable to yourself and others. Treat people the way you would like to be treated and have a core of integrity with a side of empathy for people. I encourage you to do more of the listening and less of the talking. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Take the time to put yourself in others shoes and learn to have grace with standards. The #1 thing with trust is being accountable. When you say you're going to do something, you do it. Don’t flake out last minute, make sure to arrive on time for an event you committed to and be a man of your word. People who are trusted have great leadership capabilities. Trust goes a long way when it comes to successful relationships and your career/business.
I'm constantly working on these 5 success traits each and everyday. I encourage you all to do the same!